[TAG] for the Kremlin, but

[Ben Okopnik]

On Sun, Sep 26, 2004 at 04:15:31PM +0100, Jimmy O'Regan wrote:
> I bloody knew it! All this spam is actually carrying encrypted messages 
> to Ben!
 
[Rolling eyes] Man, don't you recognize business correspondence when you
see it? I swear, we're going to have to hire a secretary if you keep
going on like this. Look:

> Barney Swartz wrote:
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Client's name.

> >Reyxzfi hsxtfofu, Alivrczjin enagm stvpl mrsmb gnkeitn pglztflj snvih 
   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The target. Looks like one of those foreign types... Minnesota or
Wisconsin or something. Might be one of yours, of course - Manx or
Scottish, possibly. We'll have to hit the Yellow Pages.

> >Recently you filled out a information request form regarding
                                         ^^^^^^^ 
Well, he's _polite,_ anyway. Some clients figure they can order you
around, just because they're paying a measly coupla hundred grand... I
swear, I'm getting tired of being so _nice_ to people. The other day,
some guy wanted to argue with me when I got ready to put a .45 slug in
the middle of his forehead - I mean, *really,* what's the world coming
to? "Behind the left ear with a .380," he says to me, "is how the guy on
TV always does it. This forehead stuff won't _look_ right!" Now, I'm as
much of a people person as the next guy, but that was just _too_ much; I
just walked away. Let _him_ do it to himself if he thinks he's so
clever!

> >your home mort gage   l o an. We would like to extend our arms with
             ^^^^
Ah. So, /mort/ - not mutilation or extortion or anything like that.

> >qebjsyovy yhetlulh exnipbscy mnddalur dhbler? Seargmhbzm Vazanl yncnezmf 
                                                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Oh, more than one target, eh? Good, good. I'm starting to see some money
here.

> >As indicated, 100 people randomly selected would be able to
                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Holy Moly, now that's what *I* call a real spree! I guess he wants to
disguise who the actual targets were...

> >re f i nance their home at an anual ra t e of 0.99% for 10 year.
                                                 ^^^^^
Oh. He wants a discount, eh? Well, it's not much of one - and the times
are kinda lean. We'll give it to him, on the condition that he won't
tell anyone - which means that everyone in town will hear about it by
tomorrow. [wink] That's the right way to do advertising.

> >YOU ARE ONE OF THE 100 individuals.

Looks like a threat, huh? Well, it's not really - just a penalty clause
for non-completion, fairly standard. If we somehow manage to miss these
guys, I'll take my rocket launcher to his house and we'll, umm,
renegotiate.

> >You have limited time to apply for this offer.

He wants it done quick, too. 

> >Vhdfejklmm Qivfnneasd itcuwz zttbvrrcs sxgfnroxn, zvxtoxy jfxuf 
> >prfotwoca fhrifzc wfcpuzczd mjfscs Wbwakmm gcowiwe xinwrj ftxpwssnh 
> >tjvdt pljcmwpq flqjbja

And, of course, an MD5 checksum of this last para is the number of the
Swiss account with the payment. All a standard form sort of thing,
really.


* Ben Okopnik * okopnik.freeshell.org * Editor-in-Chief, Linux Gazette *
-*- See the Linux Gazette in its new home: <http://linuxgazette.net> -*-